We are back!

00:00 Hello and welcome to Somos Padres, a podcast dedicated to the constant development of parenting and ourselves. We are your hosts, Paulo and Yesenia. Thanks for joining us as we share our parenting experiences rooted within the context of our own life journey. In that spirit, we will also be sharing parenting information and the stories of Madres and Padres out there, who have embraced their own personal evolution as the greatest gift of parenting. Here we go. 00:36 Just like that. We're back. We're back! We are... Welcome back, Paulo. Welcome back to Somos Padres. It feels very interesting to be here. I know, right? Doing this again. I know. We had like a really clumsy start because we were literally like, oh yeah, we're going to record. Oh yeah, we're going to record. And then we sat down and we're like, okay, where's the microphones? Honestly. 01:06 We were thinking of recording this for two weeks already. Yes, yes. And you know, life happens. Life happens. And supposedly this morning we were ready. We were ready to record. Mostly. We were like, let's go upstairs. You know, let's go to the office. Let's just get it done. Let's get it done. Let's start the new season. We are parents. And we came upstairs to the office. Thinking everything's here. Thinking everything is here, like where we left off. 01:34 I know. I think that we forget that we are literally we moved. So, you know, FYI, everyone, we moved. We moved. So, we're in an office. And I think that we're just thinking, oh, we're just going back to how it was before. But it's like, no, nothing is where it was before. And we got to find everything, connect everything. So anyway, you're 100 percent right, because we used to record in our bedroom. Yep. Our desk. 02:03 and the computer was set up in our bedroom. And now we are so blessed that we have an office. Yes, we have an office. And so, yeah, and FYI, you'll probably hear cars in the background. You're probably going to hear our cats. Yeah. Before it's interesting, right? Before we would be like telling the kids, like, we're going to be recording, so you guys have to be quiet. And now it's like. 02:31 Now it's the cats and there's just no way. Yeah. They're going to be quiet. Oh, that's right. We didn't have the cancer before. No, we didn't have the cats in FYI. We have four of them. So, but you know, we'll give you a full-on life update in the next episode. In this episode though, we just really want to lean in to reconnecting with you, to talking about a few things and, um, I don't know, just hopefully setting. 03:01 setting us up for this new season, this new season of Somos Padres. Which it was never in the cards to restart the podcast. But then we. I believe we felt something was missing. Yeah, well, let's go back to like reflecting. Now looking back, we ended the podcast, not end. Well, we stopped. Clearly, we just stopped. We took a pause. Right when the pandemic hit. 03:31 And that was 2020. There was a three years ago. We didn't know anything about the pandemic was coming. Now I don't remember. I feel like no, because it was like in a. I feel like the pandemic had just started. Are you serious? Yes, because we I remember one of our last episodes was with a therapist who was working with couples because now, they were spending all this time together in quarantine. 03:59 Like we were all quarantining in our homes. Oh, wow. I thought it was like two months before the pandemic. No, no, we were like full on in the pandemic. But anyways, it's been it was in May. I did look that up. It was in May of 2020. So, it's been like a full on three years that we haven't done it. But now looking back, reflecting. Why do you think we really ended the podcast for you? 04:27 What was it? Because now looking back, I feel differently about ending it and why we ended it. Yeah. I don't know. I think, let me think. I haven't really thought about it, but personally for me, it was like, I felt so like stressed, convoluted. Too many things going on at the same time. Yeah, work, especially when we have a job from nine to five. 04:57 it's really difficult in a family, it's really difficult to actually do other stuff unless you are super organized. And personally, for me, I am not super organized. No, I am not. I am organized in certain areas, but not organized in a lot of other areas. So, I felt too stressed too much going on and I felt that I have like 05:26 hit a plateau of the things that I wanted to say, because honestly, for me, I feel that you can only carry the listener up to the life that you have lived. Our children, we're at a certain age, we can only share so much about our children and about ourselves and about me. 05:52 And I just feel like, yeah, I was like, what else can I say? Like you just felt like you didn't have anything else to say. Yeah. And at the same time, there was like work was becoming really stressful and finding the time and finding time to spend time with them, with the family. And it was just I felt too much. Yeah, I think it was also putting a strain on our relationship. Like, there's just, you know, there's so many things that are just. Now something is coming. 06:22 And since you are not that quote unquote that wise, I still remember that I have certain points that I was holding to them so much. You just like, no, you're saying it's not saying my point. I need to defend this point. And I felt that you have other points. And I felt like it was like a tug of war, you know? 06:47 Well, I just feel like we didn't, we couldn't agree on what to record and the topics and what to record. And I believe this, and I feel that this is. And yeah, I feel like we were just not aligning in the purpose and where we were going with it. And it was like, I just don't need another thing to add to the strain of a marriage because it's already hard, you know? And so, I was like, let's just take that out. And 07:16 And yeah, I feel like that was like part of it was just, we're not aligning, so let's just stop. And yeah, no, you're right. And one of the things that actually that makes, well, that I feel that our podcast makes a difference is like, you see, it has certain perspectives about life and about family and about parenting. And I have certain other perspectives that are not so, so aligned. 07:44 Yet we want to find this path that is common for both of us. Because that's we’re supposed to be a couple, a couple for a team, a team. And we're supposed to help each other, you know, in our growth and evolution. Um, yeah, I think for me, looking back now, and I'm totally being distracted by the neighbor’s dogs. But, um, the, for me, what happened? 08:13 was that you know that was definitely one aspect we weren't aligning. I also think I like you know mentioned like you hit a plateau I feel like I hit a plateau and all of a sudden, I felt like you know I had like all these thoughts in my head like you like I didn't have anything else to add and I didn't quite feel like 08:41 I knew enough. I know that sounds just like totally weird. Like what is that? Like now looking back like, Oh, what is enough and all these things. But I really felt like I just needed to work on myself and I just needed to go inward, and I just needed to do so much more work. And, and I just, I just wanted to stop. And you know, one of the things that I struggle with absolutely 100% is I struggle. 09:11 And maybe this is going to feel like or sound like weird to people, but I do struggle with the confidence to just launch things and do things and put myself out there. And so, I was like, oh, you know what? I'm going to let go of this almost by the days and I'm just going to focus on parenting inward and like coaching and doing all that. But you know what? I didn't do it. Like I started parenting inward and I don't know, I lose steam. 09:40 And so, so yeah, that continues to be kind of a, I don't know, it just, it continues to be something that I work on. Um, but I definitely felt like I had hit a plateau with what I wanted to say. And even then, I felt that you were expecting perfection. And I was like, what is perfect? Well, we need to talk about this topic, and it has to be perfect. I was like, I never said that. 10:10 Well, that was what you imagined. Exactly. That's how I felt. It's just like, for me, yeah, the argument is what is perfect? Oh, this doesn't sound right. But what does sound right? It's just like, what does that mean? So, it was another stressor for me. It's just like, I don't know what my wife wants. This woman, I don't know what she wants. I don't know. Yeah, we were just not aligning. No. So, OK. I mean, I think. 10:39 Yeah, I think that kind of summarizes like now looking back and reflecting like, Oh my God, like, why the heck did we stop? And I there's a part of me that's like, man, if we hadn't stopped, who knows where the podcast would be and what we'd be doing. But things work out exactly the way that they're supposed to work out. And here we are. I think the big question is, why come back? Why restart? 11:09 why jump off and hit the record button again? What was it for you? Cause it took you a while. This was something that I kinda felt like, you know what? I kind of feel like we should do it again. And you were initially not having it. I was like, no. I'm not doing it again. And then funny enough, it wasn't until I was like, you know what, I'm going to do it by myself. And you were like, wait, no, what? 11:38 No, yeah. I was like, no, how can I live by yourself? You know, something that was there together. And it's because honestly, I do believe that once you start something, you have to push yourself to just go with it and finish it and go through it. And I feel that no, that's something that eventually in the future is going to have like regrets. I should have. And for me, it's like 12:06 No, we have to do things so that we don't, we can have as, as little regrets as possible because a lot of us we have, I should have, I should have, I should have. No, no, no. Do it. You just do it. So, you said yes, or you agreed to do it. I agree to do it because of that, because I feel like it's going to help me. No, yeah. Because if, uh, if, if not forces, but it compels me to reflect more about the things that I do. 12:36 Yeah, I do feel, if you don't mind me saying, I do feel like it keeps you more accountable. Yeah. Like, yeah. Yeah. Like for you, you need something that like, literally you can take the time to talk and reflect and because we get busy with life and if you don't actually carve out a time where you're constantly kind of reflecting, then you're, yeah. It pushes me to create a space. 13:05 that doesn't exist to create a space that do exist for reflection and conversation. Yes. Because we do always have conversations, great conversations, but we have to expose those conversations and experiences out to the community because who knows who's going to connect with our stories. Yeah, I think for me, I definitely feel, and I know that we're going to talk a lot more in the next episode about. 13:34 of our life update, but I do feel for me in particular, I need this community. I need this anchor. And because where I am right now, I don't get the opportunity to have these types of conversations as much as I'd like to. So, it almost feels like, like, yeah, like I was missing out on, on a friend. 14:04 without, you know, by not having this outlet and not having this opportunity to just talk. I just really love talking and reflecting. And what you said is also talking about is like, since you're working from home, babe, and all your friends are back in Southern California. Yes, that's correct. You feel not in Southern California. We're not in Southern California. We're in central California now. So, which is a long way. So, you feel more separated. 14:33 Yes, certainly. Yeah. And me, I continue to be in the same field as an educator. And I see the same patterns and the same stories within my students. So, for me, it's like, ha-ha, this is never going to go away. As soon as you continue to be an educator, you're going to see these patterns in the way students behave, because it's not about the students. No, but I'm talking about what like 15:02 I don't have the opportunity to talk to people. Yeah, because. One, because I work from home. Yeah. And number two, I'm not, you know. Surrounded. I'm not surrounded by people to talk to and have these conversations with. And so, so yeah, I definitely feel like I'm missing this outlet. I'm missing this community. I'm missing this opportunity. And like, I need it. Yeah. And yet for me. 15:31 I have the same thing, the same, I'm exposed to the same, the same, you know, because it's a lot of, everything's about parenting and about conditioning. Yeah, so for me, it's like I've never left. The winner. But you're saying, I guess I'm trying to connect it to, like wanting to come back. I wanted to come back because how else, how else are you going to, 16:00 inspire others to create change within themselves, not to force change, okay, but to inspire change so they can actually look at things from different perspectives, that there are other ways of seeing life and seeing personal growth and seeing relationships and family dynamics. How else? You have to expose your... especially nowadays with the technology that we have, we have to expose our stories and create, you know, that community. 16:30 Yeah, I feel like I took so much time or not took so much time. I have been, you know, continuing to work on myself and doing various practices and, you know, just exploring myself and, you know, changing. And I do feel like I'm coming back to this. 16:58 at a totally different space. Like now I think back to like what we recorded before and now I'm like, man, I would say so many things differently now. And yeah, that's what got me excited about coming back is this opportunity to now rejoin the conversation at our voice to just the podcast world and to come at it from a hopefully I think a... 17:27 just a wiser place because we've lived more, we've experienced more and challenged ourselves more in different aspects of our life. And so, I'm excited to just come back to this space with kind of just a different perspective, I think. I just, yeah, I just see things so differently in so many aspects, you know. And also, to watch our kids, I mean, our kids are now... 17:55 Paulito is a teenager. Vicky's almost there. She's 12. Paulito is almost 15. Well, by the time this air, he will be 15. Oh, yeah. So, it's like, wow, it's we're in a totally different etapa as a stage of life for them. And it creates this different stage of life for us in terms of our parenting. And that's just exciting to me. I think. 18:24 we can really offer. And this just kind of segues into like where we're headed with the podcast because we want to talk about that too, right? I really feel like when you first have your babies, that's like such a different time, right? Like every single one of the stages of life of our kids and of ourselves, right? It's so different in it. You know, it requires different mindsets 18:53 you know, just, I don't know, just different tools that in skill sets that you develop and, in your mind, and things like that, you know, like, yeah, I feel like we have so much to offer people who are, you know, maybe have younger kids. And we can kind of be a voice to be like, you know, we went through that and we've gone through that and, and to offer what it feels like on the other 19:23 we started, you know, changing the way we parented and really connecting more with like nonviolent parenting and conscious parenting and really working on ourselves and coming kind of from that mindset. And so, it's, when you're the first to do it in your family, you don't really have the ability to watch other people who've done it and that can mentor you. 19:52 and tell you like; it's going to be okay. It's going to work out. It is so scary to do something different. It is super scary because I'm like, I think I'm messing up my kids. Right. And you don't know. I mean, at the end of the day, I feel like that's kind of like one of the perspective shifts that I have. Like, man, you're not, there is no getting it. Perfect. There is no getting it, quote unquote, right. Like 100 percent. Like, I think we're all doing the best we can with what we have. And that's one of the major things we've always talked about. 20:21 But, but yeah, I feel like now we can look back and tell people that are just starting out with maybe, you know, adding to their skill sets and parenting and shifting and evolving in that way that or just stepping into conscious parenting. Like, guess what? It is going to be okay. Cause we're on the other side and well, everything is going to be okay. Yeah. As long as, and this for me, this has been one of the most important aspects or points. 20:52 as long as what you do in your printing is with as much as possible with a conditional law. 21:01 If you do things with unconditional love, that means you're going to love your kids no matter what. 21:08 You have to have faith in that, and you believe in that. Everything is going to be fine. Well, I think I would have connected it because I feel like unconditional love. That's really hard. I mean, we've talked about it. You know, right. It is super, super difficult. I would say as long as you're aiming and moving towards and moving towards trying to be as much as possible in that space, because. 21:34 That is really hard. It is super hard. But as long as you're pointing in that direction, things will be okay. Even for us, we're still not there. No. Our kids are barely going to the... Well, Paulito is already 15 years old. So, a lot of people are like, oh, wait until they're 15. But I do honestly believe if you set a foundation with... 22:02 what you're actually teaching your kids and modeling to your kids. It comes from a place of love. 22:11 when they grow up, they're going to be way better. Yeah, well, what I would say is... Way better than with a lot of conditions. What I would say is that as long as you're holding tight to the connection you have with your kids. Yeah, because when we aim for unconditional love, you build relationships. Yeah, to me, it's about the connection you have with your kids and trying to hold on to that. Because if you aim for unconditional love, 22:42 All right. You start building this trust. Relationships cannot be built without trust. And you talk about this all the time as a teacher that at the end of the day, you can't teach your kids until they trust you. Yeah. You build a relationship. Once you have a relationship, you're golden. True education. True education doesn't happen unless, unless the students have the trust of the teacher. So, I mean. 23:10 This is where we're headed. That's where we in the podcast. We're headed towards sharing just a lot more information, a lot more about what we've been doing behind the scenes, a lot more of kind of just the learnings that we're having, the experiences that we're having, and bringing people on who are also on this path, people that we trust, people that... 23:40 We admire the work that they are doing as well. I feel like the more people that we can bring on that just show that there's so many of us that are on this path. If you're like us right now in a place where you don't have a lot of people around you who are having these conversations, who are doing this type of work on themselves. 24:07 you know, personal growth and healing and all this deliciousness to me, it's deliciousness for my mind, body and soul. And I just love talking about it. And so that's what we hope to impart to you and to share throughout this next season of Somos Padres. I'm very excited. This time around. Oh, before I talk about that, but 24:35 We are going to be doing episodes. People can expect to have episodes every other week. At least two times a month. Yes, so every other week. In the next episode, we're going to talk about or give you a life update because we kind of sprinkled in a little bit about changes in our lives, but we want to... 24:56 give you the full story because there's absolutely a whole story about how we ended up in, you know, Strathmore in the Central Valley. Way more than one episode. But in the next episode, we'll give you a quick life update and where we are. And then from there, summer is going to hit. And so, I'm going to jump off with my summer series, which I'm very excited about. 25:25 hit the ground running with some interviews and we're definitely going to do seasons this time around. I think we've learned that we are people who we just kind of have a season in us. So, we're going to run from June through Thanksgiving. That's the goal right around Thanksgiving. That's when we'll sunset and go inward and we'll come back the following year. 25:56 this experience feels more like manageable, like we're giving the best of us, with what we have, because we, uh, another life update, we're literally on a farm. And so, we have, um, we're just taking care of a lot more things. So, we don't want the podcast, the quality of it to suffer for that. Well, and about things, it's not like, 26:23 material things are just like, no, we have chickens and our garden, and you all know taking care of a home is taking care of the space. Yeah, of course, a lot of time. And so yeah, that's our plan. That's where we're headed. And one last thing I'll mention, we have our kids who you may remember do the closing. And for this episode, we're going to keep our babies yeah, the closing but for next time. 26:52 They're recording a new one because they got to. They're into it. So yeah. So, you'll hear their new voices in the next episode in the closing. But that's it. That's, I mean, that's it for this first episode. We're back. We are back. I'm so excited. And I hope and we hope that you are too. And yeah, we will. We just hope that we can inspire each other. 27:21 Absolutely. Yeah, with the listeners and all that and comments and stuff like that. Thank you to everyone who, you know, commented, there's our cat, commented on social media and was excited about our return. It means the world to us to know that you are still supporting the podcast, supporting us, that you still feel like we're connected because we are. And so 27:51 so much more. Y que viva la evolución. Que viva la evolución. Now, now we have to go into the technical aspects of creating and producing a podcast. That's right. Thank you, guys, so much. Que viva la evolución. Chao. 28:09 Hi, if you like this podcast please share it with your friends and family. You can also subscribe to the podcast on iTunes and please leave a review. It is super important in order to help spread the message. You can follow us, our parents on Instagram. 28:40 You can also subscribe to their newsletter on their website at somos-padres.com. Gracias!