Our Teenager is Dating!

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hello, and welcome to Samos Padres, a. [00:00:03] Speaker B: Podcast dedicated to the constant development over parenting and ourselves. [00:00:07] Speaker A: We are your hosts, Paolo and Jessenia. Thanks for joining us as we share our parenting experiences rooted within the context of our own life journey. [00:00:16] Speaker B: In that spirit, we will also be sharing parenting information and the stories of Madres and Padres out there who have. [00:00:21] Speaker A: Embraced their own personal evolution as the great latest gift of parenthood. [00:00:27] Speaker B: Here we go, everyone. Welcome. [00:00:39] Speaker A: Welcome back. We are back together again. Paolo and yosenya. [00:00:44] Speaker B: Yes, I'm back here at the recording. [00:00:48] Speaker A: Why do you make it sound like you're not excited? [00:00:50] Speaker B: Well, because based on everything that is going on in the world nowadays yes. I think we should start by contemplating a minute of silence for all the casualties, all the life that has been lost to this tragedy in the Middle East. In the Middle East. [00:01:17] Speaker A: The Palestinian lives. The Israeli lives. [00:01:20] Speaker B: Both sides. Yes. Because life is life. [00:01:23] Speaker A: Yeah. All of the children, all of the mothers, the fathers, sisters. It's really heartbreaking. And to see the images. And sometimes I look away, and then I realize what a privilege it is to be able to sit in the comfort of my own home and look away. And the reality is that at some point, as hard as it is, we have to recognize what's happening in the world. And we invite everyone to get informed. I think, at the end of the day yeah. [00:02:16] Speaker B: Get informed. But I will say, like, yeah, educate yourself on the issues. But honestly, as we have this platform to actually, obviously distribute our message and our experiences as parents, as people, as citizens, at the end of the day, I feel I stand for nonviolence. [00:02:42] Speaker A: Yeah. Absolutely. [00:02:43] Speaker B: I cannot pick a side. I cannot be for Israel or Palestine. For me. [00:02:47] Speaker A: We're for both. [00:02:50] Speaker B: We're for both. It's like, how can we stand for humanity? Yeah. How can we resolve this in a peaceful way absolutely. Where everyone can actually enjoy life with a freedom, the dignity and the dignity that any human in this world wants. [00:03:06] Speaker A: And deserves. [00:03:07] Speaker B: And deserves. It shouldn't be because this world is not for just one group of people. It's for all of us. We are one. [00:03:16] Speaker A: And we want that for everyone. [00:03:17] Speaker B: And we want that for everyone. Exactly. [00:03:20] Speaker A: Yeah. Pablo found this amazing quote which we want to share with you just to kind of close us speaking on this topic. [00:03:32] Speaker B: And after you say the quote, will there are metal science? [00:03:35] Speaker A: Yes. So it's violence begets violence, hate begets hate, and toughness begets a greater toughness. It is all a descending spiral, and at the end is destruction for everybody along the way of life. Someone must have enough sense and morality to cut off the chain of hate. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Amazing quote. [00:04:03] Speaker B: And now let's observe a man of science. It all right. [00:05:08] Speaker A: Okay. And with that, we turn our attention to our drink. [00:05:17] Speaker B: Oh, yes, the drink. What are we drinking today? What did you make for us today? We're having a mimosa. [00:05:26] Speaker A: Yes. We're recording earlier than we typically record. [00:05:30] Speaker B: Yeah. So we're having a mimosa. Not a traditional mimosa. This is a WAVA mimosa, which is really awesome. It's delicious. So it's made with a Prosecco. [00:05:42] Speaker A: Yes. [00:05:42] Speaker B: And obviously organic WABA juice. Natural tends to be best. As natural as possible. We got ours at Costco, and both of them come from Costco. [00:05:54] Speaker A: Oh, actually, both of them come thank you. To one of our right. [00:05:58] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:05:58] Speaker A: For the recipe. [00:06:00] Speaker B: Yeah. I never actually turned this on. I contemplated, like, having guava mimosas. [00:06:04] Speaker A: Absolutely. Yeah. I never thought that I'd be into a guava mimosa. [00:06:08] Speaker B: Yes. Because I don't like Guava. You don't like guavas? [00:06:11] Speaker A: No. [00:06:11] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:06:13] Speaker A: Mimosas are amazing. [00:06:14] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:06:15] Speaker A: So, yes, that is our drink that we're having today. [00:06:19] Speaker B: Well, cheers. [00:06:20] Speaker A: Cheers. What's going on with you as we drink our mimosa? What's new with you, Paul? [00:06:31] Speaker B: Updates for me? Well, I'm actually excited because I started running again for the last month. [00:06:39] Speaker A: You did a half marathon? What are you talking about? [00:06:42] Speaker B: Well, for the last month, I've been starting to run, and like, two weeks ago, I actually ran a half marathon. [00:06:49] Speaker A: Yes. [00:06:50] Speaker B: But it was a great experience. Not as in the past, because obviously I'm getting older. The body actually it feels the age running. Sometimes I contemplate. I'm like, how did I achieve in the past running marathons? Whereas now half a marathon seems really. [00:07:17] Speaker A: Hard and you're hardly even training for them. [00:07:22] Speaker B: Yeah, I think I had to push myself as much as I can so that maybe I can actually get at least close to my past performances. [00:07:33] Speaker A: You know what I think it is? I actually think that what your body and life is calling you to is to shift to something else. You're very wanting to go back to running and back to that life. And I feel like it's time to move on. [00:07:53] Speaker B: Paolo well, for me. [00:07:59] Speaker A: You should come. [00:07:59] Speaker B: To Zumba with me because everybody's journey is different. But the science that I see in this journey is that I don't think I'm going to do marathons again. No. I think I'm going to stick to half marathons. [00:08:12] Speaker A: Okay, you want to stick to running? [00:08:15] Speaker B: I want to stick to running, but something new. I'm starting to lift weights. [00:08:20] Speaker A: Okay. [00:08:21] Speaker B: So let's see what happens with the combination, which as I need to learn my body all over again. Because you have to know which exercises are best for running. Yeah, because if I go around bodybuilding, it might have an impact on my running. [00:08:38] Speaker A: Right. Well, I have been sticking to zumba. [00:08:42] Speaker B: Oh, you're honest. You love dancing. [00:08:44] Speaker A: I love dancing. I pretty much do Zumba between two and four times a week, at least two. And I love that I will run occasionally when you and Paulito are at the gym with me, and that's something new. [00:09:07] Speaker B: Yeah, well, something new for me as well, because I'm not running by myself or exercising. [00:09:14] Speaker A: But we'll come to that. We'll come back. But we'll come back to this conversation. But I will run a mile here or there, but really not a whole lot. Mostly zumba. And I also love to get in wherever I can. A yoga class or some yoga, some Pilates at our local gym. That's me in terms of exercise. But something I am excited about is I am almost towards the end of my first parenting, inward conscious parenting course. I have a couple that I'm working with, and it's been really amazing. [00:09:53] Speaker B: I see that you radiate whenever you're going to have those meetings. [00:09:58] Speaker A: I'm really nervous before I get on with them because it's my first time. But as soon as we're done with the session, I feel really great about it. [00:10:07] Speaker B: Even before that, I can see that. [00:10:09] Speaker A: You are like, yeah, no, I'm having a really great time doing that and learning a lot about putting together a course like that and just the different exercises that we're doing. And so I'm just having a lot of fun with it and looking forward to doing it again, probably in the new year, opening up again to take on other families, and then I don't know, we'll see where it goes. I'm just having a really fun time exploring that aspect. [00:10:44] Speaker B: No, that sounds great. But also, since we're talking about the things we're doing, also, let's share some struggles that we're also facing because it cannot be all life is not like that. [00:10:57] Speaker A: I know. Just sharing all the great things. [00:10:59] Speaker B: All the great things. Yeah. [00:11:03] Speaker A: I think for me, the struggle right now is that I do have my mom who's having health issues, and that's a struggle emotionally, and also being there for her and taking care of someone who has their own ideas about how they want to be cared for. So it's a whole other layer. I'm sure anyone who has an older parent who's going through just different health issues but supporting them, it's like you're Navigating, being the caretaker for them. They were once your caretaker, and now you're their caretaker, but yet they're an adult. [00:11:54] Speaker B: In many ways. They want to make adult decisions. [00:11:56] Speaker A: Yes, and they make decisions, but then it feels like we're the ones who end up having to clean things up in a way. So yeah, navigating my mom's health challenges, along with all of my siblings, like, partnering with them to get her everything she needs, that's kind of my challenges right now. What about you? [00:12:24] Speaker B: For me? Well, having contemplated a lot since Cosmo. [00:12:28] Speaker A: Passed we didn't even talk about that. [00:12:31] Speaker B: Yeah, eventually we'll create a special episode for that topic. [00:12:37] Speaker A: Yes. [00:12:37] Speaker B: But since Cosmopass, I've been contemplating a lot about life and purpose, and for me, I'm really struggling to feel like, oh, my God. And then the challenges at work that I'm facing, I feel that those challenges and those struggles for me, for me, it's like, I don't know, signs that I need to move into other areas. [00:13:03] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:13:06] Speaker B: And also at the same time, I cannot send myself straight on my meditation. What's the word that you use when I'm watching? [00:13:20] Speaker A: Resist. [00:13:21] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. At night, I resist. Instead, I know what I need to do. But instead of following that intuition, that inner knowing, I reject that. Instead of I just watch TV and then I get into the TV and then I don't get enough sleep. And that impacts many areas of life. [00:13:48] Speaker A: Yeah. So trying to get back on that meditation train. [00:13:54] Speaker B: Meditation train. And also is it time to move on to something else? [00:14:02] Speaker A: So that's what you're navigating right now? Contemplating. [00:14:05] Speaker B: Contemplating. Yeah. Oh my God. And then you do a little bit of research into other areas and you're like, oh my God. [00:14:12] Speaker A: Well, I'm going to give you something that I've been thinking about just in terms of when I work with the family I'm working with and these things come up. And I have been thinking about that, that I think that we want to intellectualize things, we want to think about them, we want to research them. But when we hit up against these blocks and these points of resistance, you have to take action in some way that helps you make that jump. And so I think for you, you are trying to intellectualize it. Like, maybe if I read this article because I know that I do this too, I'll be like, maybe I just need this course, maybe I just need to read that book and we get into that. But the more and more I experience it, I go, no, I think I have to write to myself. I think I have to journal. I think I have to go inward and try to understand what that is. [00:15:25] Speaker B: Yes. And for me, that's the point. If I jump again into meditation trend, I think I'm going to come in touch with that inner knowing. Yeah. That wisdom that we all have. But you have to be completely still in the silence. And I listen to so much to your brain all the time. [00:15:49] Speaker A: Yeah. And I would also say that I would add that when you're in that meditation state, one of the things I would recommend is ask yourself, why do I resist this? [00:16:01] Speaker B: Yeah, I haven't asked myself that. [00:16:03] Speaker A: Yeah. See, for me, it's easier to do it when I'm journaling is to ask the resistance, what are you about? What are you here to teach me? Where is this coming from? There's questions you can ask yourself and then allow yourself to respond. You could do it when you're meditating. You can also ask the questions when you're meditating. [00:16:24] Speaker B: Yeah, because I always ask the questions, the struggles that I face. I always ask the question like, what is it that is here that I need to learn. Because in the obstacles and the struggles, that's where we tend to grow the most. And I always ask in that instance, I do ask that question, but for me, because I know sometimes it's like, okay, I have this obstacle right here. I contemplate it. I'm like, what can I learn from this? And I find the next step. But personally, I haven't done that. [00:17:03] Speaker A: Yeah, I think we just all hit plateaus and stuff. It's about trying to jump that next plateau. It's going to be interesting and find something different. Sometimes we have to pull from another thread. [00:17:16] Speaker B: Yeah. Intellectually, all the time. I want to actually what's the term? Try to guess what the future holds, what's the term? Predict. [00:17:27] Speaker A: Predict. [00:17:27] Speaker B: To predict. Because I want to know. [00:17:30] Speaker A: No one knows. [00:17:32] Speaker B: No one knows. The mystery is the beautiful aspect of I just need to call that learn. [00:17:41] Speaker A: To dance with the mystery. [00:17:42] Speaker B: Yes, learn to dance with the mystery. [00:17:44] Speaker A: See, this is why you got to go to Zumba, so you can learn to dance well. [00:17:47] Speaker B: That's why I love sometimes. Yeah, many times. For the most part. Most of the time I get into that state. [00:17:54] Speaker A: Yeah. Well, today let's jump into our topic. [00:18:00] Speaker B: Our topic for today is going to be very fascinating. [00:18:05] Speaker A: Today. The topic we wanted to talk about is kind of like a life update, too. It's kind of just a natural progression from this conversation because in our life as parents, we've entered a new Etapa. What is that? [00:18:21] Speaker B: New stage. [00:18:21] Speaker A: A new stage. This new stage of our teenager dating. That's right. [00:18:30] Speaker B: That's right. [00:18:30] Speaker A: Breaking news. [00:18:32] Speaker B: Breaking news. Something completely new for us. [00:18:34] Speaker A: Yeah. Our oldest is dating. [00:18:36] Speaker B: It's not like some of you might be saw one he's dating. Yeah, but the thing is, that way happens for us. [00:18:44] Speaker A: Yeah. It came fast and furious. It came caught us off guard. [00:18:48] Speaker B: It caught us off guard. Why? Because we were not expecting it at all. Now, one bet. [00:18:53] Speaker A: No. [00:18:54] Speaker B: As parents, we were actually worried about our son's social life. [00:18:59] Speaker A: Yes. [00:19:00] Speaker B: Because also, some of the things before actually started recording this episode, we were thinking the same. Yes, we're going to talk about this. But also, how do we hold privacy for our son? [00:19:12] Speaker A: Yes. [00:19:14] Speaker B: We cannot jump into actual details. [00:19:17] Speaker A: Right. [00:19:17] Speaker B: But we can talk about what it feels like. [00:19:20] Speaker A: Yes. Our experience. [00:19:21] Speaker B: Our experience with that. [00:19:22] Speaker A: Yes, we want to respect our son's privacy. And he also wants it respected. He gave us permission to talk about it, but he's like, just don't go into details, obviously. About their life, about their relationship. No, but yeah, it totally caught us off guard because, like Paolo said, we were literally worried last year. He was a freshman last year, and every day I would kind of ask him, how's it going? It was a new school for him. New town. New town, new I was like, do you have friends? And he'd be like, what do you mean by friends? And I'm like, oh, my gosh. And I know you would share that. You had visions of, like, oh, my gosh, is he, like, eating lunch by himself? [00:20:15] Speaker B: Yeah, I imagine our son to be the lonely students that they sit by themselves on tables and that they're all shy and they don't want to get near anyone because obviously they're introverts. [00:20:29] Speaker A: And then I remember one time I asked him, I was like, hey, do you want to practice talking to people and making friends? And he's like, you know, I really think that those things just develop naturally. [00:20:44] Speaker B: Yeah, that's what he says. [00:20:46] Speaker A: Like, okay, my little guru. [00:20:49] Speaker B: Well, now, thinking about it and reflecting about it, that was a great insight for us. [00:20:53] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. I was like, okay, he's got it. He's clearly and this is something that, with time, we've come to realize with him, is that he has a really great sense of himself. He's not someone who is worried if he's eating by maybe he was sitting and eating by himself, but that doesn't bother him. No, yeah, it really doesn't bother him. I don't know if it's, like, just a really great sense of self. Really great. [00:21:26] Speaker B: He just focuses on what feels good. If he feels good, so what if other people if other people can say, whatever, but if I feel good, yeah. [00:21:34] Speaker A: That'S all he matters. But we were still on the inside, we wouldn't tell him that. Right? But on the inside, we were like, oh, my God doesn't have a social life. He never went out with any friends during the year. [00:21:46] Speaker B: Even when you say, do you have any friends? He will say, like, what do you mean by friends? Yeah. [00:21:50] Speaker A: What do you mean by friends? And it's like, well, people you talk to, you eat with them at brunch or lunch. You guys hang out their numbers, things like that. So anyways, fast forward. Like, a month before school's over, we're sitting at home on a Friday night, and all of a sudden, he just comes up to us, and he's like, can I go to a Quince? [00:22:17] Speaker B: Can I go to Quinceanera? [00:22:19] Speaker A: And we're like, what? Are you sure you're invited? [00:22:25] Speaker B: Yeah, because that's one of the for me, that was a question Parito. How do you know you're invited to yeah. [00:22:30] Speaker A: We're like, well, you have friends. Like who? What? [00:22:33] Speaker B: So he goes, the quinceigner. Give me the invite. [00:22:36] Speaker A: Yeah, and he showed it to us. He busted it out. It was like a legit, full on invite. It wasn't like a digital no invite. It was the hard copy actual invite. And we're like, oh, wow, he really was invited. So he ends up going to this quince with a friend, and then maybe a couple of weeks later, he goes to the movies with this friend and a group of friends and a group of friends, and when he went, we noticed that there was a girl among the group of friends, and we just noted it. It wasn't a big deal. [00:23:15] Speaker B: No, it wasn't a big deal because it was a group of friends. [00:23:17] Speaker A: Yeah, it was a group of friends going to a movie. And then we just noticed that he was going to the movies more throughout the summer. And it wasn't just the movies. He was on this whole transformation. It felt like he was on just a whole moment of transformation over the summer. Right. I don't know if you agree, Paddle, but he was like, I want to change my hair. [00:23:49] Speaker B: Then we started focusing into his physical traits. [00:23:52] Speaker A: Yes. He was a lot more focused on what can I do so that I don't have as many pimples? [00:23:59] Speaker B: Pimples haircut. [00:24:01] Speaker A: Yeah. He's like, I want to change my hair. Contacts. [00:24:04] Speaker B: Contacts. [00:24:04] Speaker A: He went to contacts instead of his glasses. So all these things, like, he went on a health binge, and then he. [00:24:11] Speaker B: Was asking well, once he started knowing how pimples actually tend to develop yeah. [00:24:18] Speaker A: Because you would tell him, well, a lot of it has to do with what you're eating. [00:24:20] Speaker B: So now he started asking questions about eating, about food. [00:24:24] Speaker A: About food. [00:24:25] Speaker B: So he loves pizza, and all of. [00:24:27] Speaker A: A sudden, he was limiting intake. [00:24:30] Speaker B: Limiting the intake of pizza. Because he could eat pizza every day. Yeah. And we were like, Palito, that's not healthy. Now he learned about the pimples. He was like, okay. [00:24:40] Speaker A: Yeah. And so he just was on this whole binge over the summer. He started asking questions about going to the gym. [00:24:48] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:24:49] Speaker A: And so all this starts happening. And then towards the end of summer, we just start to notice he went to go see a particular movie and we went to go pick him up. And it was supposed to be him and his friends, but it ended up when we picked it up, we noticed that it was just him and a girl. And that's when I was like, hey, so do you think she has a crush on you? And he was like, what's a crush? Right. It's a whole other era. But then I explained what a crush is, and then you just kind of stopped me, and you're like, oh, leave him alone. [00:25:31] Speaker B: No, because you were asking a whole bunch of questions, baby. [00:25:33] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. So then I was like, okay, because. [00:25:36] Speaker B: Once we saw him with only him and a girl, you started asking a lot of questions. It was like an integration. [00:25:45] Speaker A: Well, it's because at some point, he does say to us, like, yes, she has a crush on me, and that they were exploring whether they wanted to date or not. He was kind of exploring. So then yeah, I think my inclination was to just ask all these questions, and then you said that to me, and then I was like, okay, I can only ask a question like once a week or something. I don't want him to think like, I'm overdoing it. [00:26:09] Speaker B: Well, not once a week, but at least not so many. One in five minutes. [00:26:13] Speaker A: Right. So long story short, guys, at the beginning of the school year is when he finally tells us, like, it's official. They're dating. [00:26:28] Speaker B: Yeah. We're dating. [00:26:29] Speaker A: Yes. [00:26:29] Speaker B: And all of a sudden, it goes like, paolo, you haven't had a conversation about sex and all this stuff. Oh, my God. That's right. Why? [00:26:41] Speaker A: Because I wasn't expecting it. We were not ready. [00:26:44] Speaker B: We were not ready. [00:26:45] Speaker A: We were not ready at all. I think that even when he told us that he was exploring that, I don't know, I think we were still not thinking ahead to like, oh, my God, we haven't had the talk. [00:27:01] Speaker B: But this is the thing, because I was like, oh, my God, now he's dating. I think I need to do this, you know, have this conversation about sex. Why? Because. [00:27:13] Speaker A: It'S time. [00:27:14] Speaker B: It's time. But this is the thing. For me, it was like, how am I going to do this? [00:27:19] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh, you did such a good job. [00:27:21] Speaker B: Because I never had a conversation about sex with my parents ever. [00:27:25] Speaker A: I know, but you did so good. [00:27:27] Speaker B: Oh, my God, I was so proud of you. But it's like, you have to do it because otherwise our teenagers, they get the information from the Internet from other people, and that information might not be right. [00:27:42] Speaker A: Right? [00:27:42] Speaker B: Yeah. So I had to do it, and I did it. [00:27:46] Speaker A: Yeah. I was starting I started the conversation, and then you were like, oh, Mommy, this is bad. Come here, Paul. [00:27:55] Speaker B: Because you have to be really honest. [00:27:57] Speaker A: Yeah. And I was like, you know what? [00:27:59] Speaker B: But the thing is, last year, I think it was like two years ago, I talked with Palito about before he turned oh, no. When he turned 13. Yeah. We talked about how his body was going to change a lot. [00:28:17] Speaker A: Yeah. So you let him know this is what's coming. [00:28:19] Speaker B: This is what's coming. Why? Because I remember when I was at that age, some of my physical changes were like a little bit like, what the hell was this coming from? [00:28:29] Speaker A: Right. [00:28:29] Speaker B: What is this? [00:28:30] Speaker A: You were a little scared. [00:28:31] Speaker B: I was scared. [00:28:32] Speaker A: Kind of, like, freaked you out. [00:28:33] Speaker B: Yeah, it freaked me out. And it freaked me out because not of what was happening to my body, but of not having the information. [00:28:40] Speaker A: Yeah. Not knowing it was not knowing it was coming. Like, am I normal? [00:28:43] Speaker B: Am I normal? [00:28:44] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:28:46] Speaker B: Well, if I can go into a few details or something from my personal experience but yeah, I was like, no, unsettling unsettling. Because I was like, no, now I'm a dad. I have to try to do things in a different way. [00:29:04] Speaker A: Right. [00:29:04] Speaker B: To try to prevent that from happening to now my own son. [00:29:07] Speaker A: So you gave him the pretalk, like around 13. [00:29:10] Speaker B: Haters going to change. [00:29:13] Speaker A: It's going to happen. [00:29:14] Speaker B: Voice changing. Voice changed. [00:29:17] Speaker A: I mean, you guys noticed a lot. If you listen to that exit, you. [00:29:21] Speaker B: Can hear to the exit to the. [00:29:24] Speaker A: Exit of the yeah, you hear his new voice, which completely changed. But I have to say, I was so proud of you and how you spoke to him and really gave him just so much really great information. You were so detailed, but in a really gentle and soft way. It felt very I don't know, just a very easy breezy I just remember. [00:29:52] Speaker B: He felt really comfortable. [00:29:53] Speaker A: Yes. You made him feel so comfortable with it. And I was like, it's because he's so used to talking to teenagers all day. I feel like you're just used to that age group. Probably it's your specialty. [00:30:04] Speaker B: I'm a high school teacher. [00:30:05] Speaker A: Like, you know what level of detail and the words to hit him with. I don't know. You just did such a great job. [00:30:11] Speaker B: Well, probably because of what I do. [00:30:13] Speaker A: Just really letting them know, like, you're going to feel this. You're going to want to do this. [00:30:19] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Because you have to be honest. [00:30:22] Speaker A: Yes. [00:30:23] Speaker B: Also, impulses. [00:30:24] Speaker A: You feel the impulses. They're normal. [00:30:26] Speaker B: They're normal. The ones that hormones start raging. [00:30:30] Speaker A: Yeah. I felt like you really made him feel comfortable about it, and then yeah. He seemed to just really take it in, and I was like, okay, thank you, puppy. [00:30:45] Speaker B: I would remember, like, oh, if you have any questions, just let me know. [00:30:47] Speaker A: Yeah. And he has he has come back to tell you yeah. Now that he's like, shaving. [00:30:53] Speaker B: Yeah. He was like, oh, dad, you offered. [00:30:56] Speaker A: To get him, like, a razor and. [00:30:59] Speaker B: Things because of that time when he turned 13, I was Parito. Eventually you're going to start to shave and all that. Once the time comes, let me know, because you need to have all that stuff for men. [00:31:12] Speaker A: All the stuff. Yeah. So kudos to you. You did an amazing job with that. [00:31:18] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:31:18] Speaker A: Well, you stepped up, so yeah. I think that was, like, a major step for us with him. I think the only thing now is that we're learning to navigate the boundary setting, because boundaries. [00:31:37] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:31:38] Speaker A: He literally I feel like he spends so much time with his girlfriend. Well, and it's not a bad thing. It's just that we're not used to moving him around a lot. [00:31:52] Speaker B: Because it's natural. It's a natural outcome. Because now that he has a girlfriend, now he's like, how are we going to set boundaries? Because we told him. We told him. Palito, you cannot lose focus on school. [00:32:08] Speaker A: Yes. [00:32:09] Speaker B: You have to keep up your grades of school. This is important. Yeah. Having a girlfriend. And this is the thing we wanted to deal. We're hearing this new aspect of our lives, but we want to make it as comfortable as possible, as natural as possible, because I'm pretty sure. Did you have that freedom to have a boyfriend when you were Latin here? [00:32:33] Speaker A: No. [00:32:36] Speaker B: Well, I experienced. Yeah. [00:32:39] Speaker A: I think it's different for boys, but. [00:32:41] Speaker B: It'S different for boys. [00:32:41] Speaker A: Yeah. But I think just Navigating now where we set the boundaries, what's acceptable, like, what's the right level for him at his age? There's so many things because it's not oh, my God. [00:32:59] Speaker B: Well, I will say, yeah, it's natural to explore having a girlfriend. It's completely natural. We don't want to prevent that. We don't want to prevent him from that experience or being mean about it. [00:33:09] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:33:10] Speaker B: Like he's not normal. Yeah, it's normal. [00:33:13] Speaker A: Absolutely. But like, this week alone, he was out Wednesday, out Thursday, thursday, after school, football game Friday, football game Friday, and then today, all of a sudden, he hit us with, can I go with my girlfriend? To Costco. [00:33:31] Speaker B: To Costco. [00:33:32] Speaker A: To Costco. And we're like, wow, okay, we went to Costco yesterday. [00:33:37] Speaker B: We went to Costco yesterday. And we invited them. [00:33:40] Speaker A: Well, he had a football game, our. [00:33:42] Speaker B: Daughter, they never want to go to, but now with a girlfriend, oh, man. [00:33:47] Speaker A: Oh, she invited me to go to Costco with her and her mom. So he's been out quite a few, and so I told him, I was like, we want to spend time with you too, babe, kind of thing. And that's all. It's just finding the balance of finding that balance with him, where we want him to obviously spend time with his girlfriend, but also not be out so late that he's not getting enough sleep, the right amount of sleep, that he's not having time to do his homework. [00:34:23] Speaker B: Because if trends like that continue, like what happened like this week, obviously, hopefully. [00:34:29] Speaker A: It was an anomaly. [00:34:30] Speaker B: Yeah, hopefully it was an anomaly. Because if we allow that, it's going to have an impact on one sector. [00:34:36] Speaker A: Or another of his life balance, overall balance. [00:34:39] Speaker B: So we had to help him how to set those boundaries into a balance. Now he's going to be like, yeah. [00:34:45] Speaker A: So it's navigating that is unchartered territory for us that we really hadn't talked about. So we're kind of winging it in a way. But I know that we have to. [00:34:58] Speaker B: Kind of find so far, the grades are okay. [00:35:01] Speaker A: Yeah, so far his grades are great. I think he's focused in that sense. He's really responsible. [00:35:07] Speaker B: And we already met the girl. Yes. [00:35:09] Speaker A: She's super sweet. And so I think that everything's great. I do often get the question, how are you taking it? It's like one of the very first questions that people ask us as soon as we tell them, oh, my gosh, Bolito's dating now. And they're like, oh, my God. [00:35:30] Speaker B: Yeah, because for everyone it's shocking, but. [00:35:34] Speaker A: Yeah, the question automatically goes to, and how are you taking it? [00:35:38] Speaker B: How are you taking it? [00:35:39] Speaker A: Yeah. And I think it's normal for people to want to know that because I feel like in our culture. Moms are often selosas, in a way, with their sons and stuff like that. But to be quite honest, I am just enjoying this so much, I have to say, I'm enjoying watching him enter this stage of life. I don't know, I just find so much joy in it because, like you said, I never got to date openly and ask my parents questions and feel like it was okay to do that. Like, dating when I was a teenager was like, oh, that's bad, and you can end up pregnant. And all these things, all these scare tactics. The scare tactics you had to be hiding and not telling your parents. Like, my parents never asked me, how's your boyfriend? How are things going? How are you feeling in the relationship? I remember in the beginning, we've talked to Palito so openly and been like, hey, this is how you treat a girl. [00:36:50] Speaker B: No, because now we are entering that stage. She's like, oh, we also have to teach him how to treat girls proper and, you know, the right way. [00:36:59] Speaker A: And I was so surprised watching him one day open her door, because we human tips. [00:37:04] Speaker B: Remember Polito? [00:37:04] Speaker A: We did, but we never told him to do that. That was him. [00:37:07] Speaker B: That was him, boy. [00:37:08] Speaker A: That was him. And I was like, oh, my gosh, what a gentleman. Yeah. So for me, I find so much. [00:37:15] Speaker B: Joy, I think, to watch your child becomes what, a privilege. [00:37:21] Speaker A: Talk about privilege. [00:37:21] Speaker B: Responsible teenager. Yeah. And that is also, like, respectful of women, isn't it? That's what I want to see from my kids, to be respectful of women, to be respectful of people, and to be as mature as he possibly can be, obviously, and enjoying his that stage of life. [00:37:42] Speaker A: Yeah. And I'm like, it's so cool. Like, what is it like to date and not have that fear? [00:37:50] Speaker B: Fear him? [00:37:51] Speaker A: And so I think that's why they say in parenting your kids, it's like, you get to heal those little parts of yourself that didn't get those things that you wanted. Yeah. I give to him the experience that I wanted to have, and when I do that, that's why I think I feel so much joy in it. [00:38:18] Speaker B: Yes. And yet we have to be super so careful about when is it going to you can provide input and not over providing, because obviously it's his life, not your life. [00:38:32] Speaker A: I know, but I'm just saying, I get a lot of joy just from watching him. [00:38:36] Speaker B: No, it's just like yeah, because that's something to be aware as well. [00:38:40] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:38:41] Speaker B: Because we can actually go all crazy, and the kid is like, I want to do it. [00:38:47] Speaker A: So there you have it. That is our life update. We've entered a new stage as parents. [00:38:55] Speaker B: Oh, my God. So, please, we're not at all experts in this. [00:39:01] Speaker A: No. We want to hear from you. [00:39:02] Speaker B: If anyone out there has any tips. [00:39:07] Speaker A: Tell us how to tell us or something, or any tips on how to, I think, help our kids find that. [00:39:16] Speaker B: Balance, especially the balance about school, family life, responsibilities at home, and obviously and their new relationship. That new relationship. [00:39:27] Speaker A: Yeah. If you have any tips, if you have any questions, I think that's also if you have any topics that you want to send to us for a future episode that you'd like for us to explore, also let us know in the comment sections for the post or you can always DM us, but yeah, we want to hear from you. There are so many parents out there that are probably navigating this alongside of us or are ahead of us, maybe. [00:39:57] Speaker B: I'm pretty sure plenty of parents are ahead of us. Department. [00:40:00] Speaker A: Let us know. Lessons learned. Tips. Or maybe it's just things that you wish your parents had done for you that might be helpful to us as we navigate this new stage. So, yeah, thank you. Thank you so much to everyone. [00:40:17] Speaker B: E kevivala proxima. Adios. [00:40:23] Speaker A: Adios. Hi. [00:40:29] Speaker B: If you like this podcast, please share with your friends and family. [00:40:33] Speaker A: You can subscribe to the podcast and leave a review. It's super important. To help spread the message. [00:40:39] Speaker B: You can also follow our parents on Instagram, at Imdasiania, at Paolo Manchaka, and at somal stop by this gracia.