Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hello and welcome to Samos Padres!!!
[00:00:03] Speaker B: A Podcast dedicated to the constant development over parenting and ourselves.
[00:00:07] Speaker A: We are your hosts, Paolo and Jessenia. Thanks for joining us as we share our parenting experiences rooted within the context of our own life journey.
[00:00:16] Speaker B: In that spirit, we will also be sharing parenting information and the stories of Madres and Padres out there...
[00:00:21] Speaker A: Who have embraced their own personal evolution as the great latest gift of parenthood.
[00:00:27] Speaker B: Here we go.
[00:00:38] Speaker A: And welcome back to the Somos Padres podcast and the second episode of the Summer series. Today I'm going to jump into a very personal healing experience, and so I'm excited and also nervous to share that.
But before I jump into that, I do want to share with all of you just how amazing it has been for me now that I released the first episode that was really centered on what is healing and different aspects of healing.
To now go in and see other people's definitions of healing, and I don't know, it's just been amazing. It's almost like, I don't know, when you start to think about something and all of a sudden you just start seeing it pop up, right? Somehow. I just started seeing so many instances of people talking about healing, and I think it's so beautiful because years ago, when I started down this path, it wasn't something that you could easily find. It wasn't like it is today. So it's been really great.
And one of the definitions that I wanted to share because I just thought it was just so beautiful, is healing as a returning home, as a returning home to ourselves. And that is such an easy and beautiful way to think about healing. That totally resonates with me.
I do love that. And so I wanted to share that with you as just another way to think about healing. But as I said, today, I'm going to be jumping into one of my healing experiences. And before I officially start that, I do want to share that.
I'm not going to be sharing everything about my healing experience because I feel like healing is such a personal and nuanced experience that it would be hard to really take you into every single aspect of it. But I do want to share as much as I can and as much as I feel like you would get with the knowledge that you have about me. And that's the thing, right, that healing is such a personal experience. It's so individualized.
Like, in this instance, it was a group healing experience, and we may have all experienced the same thing, quote unquote, right? But each of us is coming with our own experiences and I don't know, just we're coming in with our own set of beliefs around it, all these things, right? And so we're each walking into it and we're each going to process it and receive it in a different way. We're at different stages of our lives, et cetera, et cetera. So that said, I do want to share it because I feel like it's important to hear what a healing experience is like.
There's not a whole lot of people that talk about it in that way. So I do want to take you into this particular healing experience that happened for me back in May.
And yeah, just ask for your grace and for you to keep an open mind, especially if something like this kind of seems foreign or even taboo for you. Right, so I'm going to jump into it.
Like I said, I had this experience back in May, maybe in April.
I had had a one day retreat with a water healer. Her name is Rocio Navarro, and I had actually had a water healing experience pre pandemic years ago with her. And so I had been following her on Instagram, and it was April, and I remember that I was feeling really disconnected.
And so I saw that she was sharing this one day retreat in Ohio, and I was like, oh, that sounds like it'd be such an amazing experience. Like it called to me.
And I went and I went, and it was absolutely what I needed. It was so beautiful.
She was doing it with another healer, and it was a mix of breath work and ceremony and it was amazing. We didn't actually get in the water that day.
If you wanted to stay longer, you could, but I had like a three hour drive, so I came home, I felt full, I felt ready, I was fine.
So I didn't actually get in the water that day, but it was such a beautiful experience. And that day Rocio had mentioned that she was curating an experience for mothers and daughters around Mother's Day, so it would be in May. And I remember listening to her and just thinking, oh, that sounds like really nice, but I don't know if I want to do it. It sounded really amazing.
But I don't know, there was just this resistance to it.
I had it in the back of my mind, and I would regularly kind of check in to see if it had sold out yet, and it hadn't. So I was like, okay, well, maybe I should do it, maybe not. I don't know. I really had this resistance to it that I wasn't exactly sure what the resistance was. But then one day I was driving to Home Depot. I can't remember, it's probably Lowe's. I don't know. It was one of those I was driving and I had some music on in the car and I don't know why. I think I was thinking about whether or not I should go, and I was thinking about my resistance.
And all of a sudden it hit me. All of a sudden I had this image of what Rocio was going to do, and I had this image of my mom in the water because the water healing experience involves you getting in the water, right?
And typically, Rocio is holding you because you're doing the experience of Rocio.
But I had this image, and I was like, oh, my God, rocio is going to have the mothers hold the daughters in the water.
And all of a sudden, I just started crying because I had this sense, like, this really deep resistance to like, I don't know if I can let my mom hold me like that. There was this real resistance to it, and it was me putting myself in such a vulnerable state. Like, you return because they hold you like when you were a baby.
And all of a sudden, I had so much anxiety and resistance to it. I literally said to myself, I don't know if I can let her hold me.
And so much of that is wrapped up in being the child in the family who, from a very young age is solving problems for the adults in her life, right?
Like, I feel like since I was little, I was the one that would translate. I was the one into this day, the one who translate, the one that they want to read all their letters, the ones that's going to fill out all the forms.
And it feels like such a burden, right? And it really messes with your brain because to some extent, you feel like the adults in your life can't hold you because you're the one that's always going in to solve the problems. So I literally felt like, I don't know if I can let her hold me.
And so it's a very deep rooted resistance, right?
And literally, I didn't sign up for a very long time. I feel like I almost signed up almost, like, at the end.
And anyways, I ended up seeing Rocio actually at an event before that. And she asked me if I was going to go to the event if I had signed up. And I said, I really want to. But I had this image. So I'm telling her about this. I'm like, I had this image of what you're going to do. And I told her, you're going to have the mothers hold in. And I told her, I was like, I don't know if I'm ready for that.
And she was like, you know, that's exactly what I'm going to do, and it's okay.
And here's the other really interesting thing was that for me, even that moment in the car when I broke down crying because I had this realization, even then I kind of knew that whether or not I went to that event.
I had had such a deep awakening and awareness of what I was feeling that it almost didn't matter if I went or not. Because at least I had had that awareness that I don't know. I feel like when I talk about the fact that we are self healers and that we are also in charge of our healing. That's what I'm talking about.
It was that in that moment when I was in the car and I was crying and I was having all these feelings, I was healing. I was allowing the tears to come and the water to shed for my tears to be the cleanse that I needed, right? And so that's what I mean when I say that we're our own healers. So I knew when I spoke to Rocio and she's like, you know, it's okay, and think about her it and if you feel, you're know, love to see you.
Yeah, I ended up signing up for the event, and then I didn't tell my mom about it until the very end. It was like two days before. I didn't tell anyone. I didn't tell Paolo, like Paolo and my mom found out at the very same time that I was taking her to this event.
And yeah, I drove up. This was the first time that I was bringing my mom along to one of these healing events. She had never experienced any of this healing that I do or any kind of retreat like this before. She's been to retreats through the church, through the Catholic church before. So she's experienced that, but she's never experienced something like what I was taking her to experience.
And so we were chatting a little bit about it. I was playing music, I was like, look mom, this is the kind of music they're going to be playing at the event. So that she'd kind of just have a sense of what she was walking into. And I talked to her a little bit about it and a little bit about Rosie or what I knew about mean, we went to the event, all the mothers are there, we're in circle. We did a welcoming kind of ceremony, we did an introduction to ourselves.
And then we entered the water, right? And I know I'm not talking a lot about water and its significance, honestly, because I don't want to butcher it. Hopefully I can have Rocio on later to talk about it and to go more deeply into it.
What I can say about what I understand about the water and something that's just really beautiful and I've embraced so much is water as a conduit, as a representation of great mother and how we can be held by the water we're made of water.
Water is such a fundamental connection to life itself.
When we leave this plane and our body shuts down and dies, it really is, because there's also a release of the water, right? There's no more water. So water is life. And so it's such a beautiful remembering. Water has memory. These are all things that Rocio shares when she's talking about our connection to the water. And so we enter the water in ceremony. It's beautiful.
And then I realize that we are beginning the portion that I talked about right where Rocio is going to give me to my mother, right? And I literally remember being held by Rocio and going, okay, it's coming, and trying to just be so very present to the moment.
And then she gave me to her.
And I remember being held by my mom. And towards the end, I could sense that her holding me was going to come to an end soon.
And this entire time, I had had my eyes closed.
And I remember thinking, you have to open your eyes.
You have to open your eyes, and you have to look at her and really see her from this vantage point, because this is it. This could be the last time that she holds you like this. Like, when will you have this opportunity again to be held like a baby again?
And I remember opening my eyes, and I looked at her, and it was so interesting. I could see that she was she didn't look back at me.
I could see that she was so just I could tell that she was so immersed in holding me, in making sure that she was holding me, right, making sure that the sun wasn't hitting my face.
She was just so hyper focused on holding.
And then, just as I thought, Rocio came and took me. And I remember the moment when she took me.
I remember just feeling so free, so light, so full of joy, like something had just been released, right? Because yeah, I just felt I just felt so much peace. And in that moment, I knew that Rocio was a conduit. She was standing in in representation of our great mother, our cosmic mother, our eternal mother, this greater mother diosa that is holding us, this mother energy that is just so all encompassing. Like, I knew that she was standing in and saying, I have you.
I've got you, and with me, you are free.
You're at peace.
There's nothing to fear.
And it was like the other realization that came to my mind was that it was such a release for me, like releasing my mom.
I realized that I was I was I had a lot of thoughts and judgments about how she should be and how she should act.
And I realized that I was really judging her for how she carried her own pain and that I had to release her because I can't be judging her for how she holds her pain.
And she had done such a good job of holding me. She did hold me.
She was holding me the best that she could my entire life, even when I was little. And it felt like it wasn't enough or it wasn't exactly what I needed. She was still doing her best.
And so it was such a beautiful release of just me releasing her.
And and I also felt like in some way, it was such a beautiful release of me as a mother, because I know that I am not always going to hit the mark as a mom either.
Like, no one is perfect.
We're not striving for perfection. That's not just not even possible.
And so that grace that I offer my mom is the same grace I must offer myself and that I hope my kids offer me.
So that is the beautiful message, messages that came through for me in that healing experience in the water.
It was so beautiful.
I hope that in some way, like, seeing how I'm having all these realizations as I'm going. And also, let me also say this, it doesn't end there, right? We come out of the water. Obviously, there's an integration that happens when we're outside the water.
That's not the end of the experience, right? This is just the end of what I'm sharing because I really just want to focus in on that awareness that happened for me.
And also, hopefully, you can see how we're having an experience in the water, right?
We're being led by Rocio. It's a facilitated event that's happening ceremony.
But then as it's happening, I'm committed to being fully present in the moment. And in doing that and being so fully immersed in it and setting intentions, I'm having these moments of awareness, of deep awareness. And then I take those, right? And then I journal about them.
I wrote them down in a journal because I didn't want to lose what those very first memories were for me.
And I integrate them now. When I get in the water, it's such a different experience for me.
So those are all the things that I'm doing to integrate that healing experience for myself and in integrating those awarenesses, right? Because honestly, this has been one of the most amazing moments for me, transformative and healing. Because that was, I think, the relationship that we have with our moms, our dads, but especially our moms. It's so profoundly impactful. And so we have to really dedicate time to really nurturing the healing around that.
I offer this experience to you. I hope it has been helpful. It's offered you some insight and some help, potentially. I don't know.
It certainly, I hope, offered you a window into what a healing experience is like.
It's not scary. It's deeply beautiful and can be very helpful on your journey. I think you just have to find those healers that really call to you and that you feel you connect with that resonate to you and that you're like, yeah, I would feel safe in their company. So androcio definitely gave and gives me that vibe. So I will leave it there. I do want to share a few things.
I want to share two books with you that have been if you want to explore the mother wound and you're someone who loves to read, I do have two books that I recommend.
One is discovering the inner mother.
And that's by Bethany Webster. Amazing book. If you want to check it out. That explores the mother wound and she shares her own experience with her healing. And then there's another one that's called From Maiden to Mother, and it deals a little more with the mother archetype.
Right?
And this book is by Sarah Durham Wilson.
So those are two books that you can check out if you're looking for something that's specific to us stepping into healing our mother wound number one, and also stepping into our mother, our own inner mother, in our own strength as mothers. So those are two really great books. I also want to share a song. I think music for me is such a pivotal and important part of my life and how I move through my life day to day. Like, music is such I don't know. It literally has always been such a strong, important part of my life. And so I do want to share a song with you that you can listen to. It'll be linked in the notes. All of these things are going to be linked in the notes so that you can check out and listen to.
The song is called Fluendo, and it's by ayla schaefer I will link in the notes. It is definitely very connected to water healing and water itself. Right?
And I hope you enjoy.
Thank you all so much. And last but not least, if you're interested in exploring conscious parenting, I do want to share. I recently opened the doors to my first ever conscious parenting workshop, or course sorry, Parenting Inward Conscious Parenting Course. I hope to start honor about August 30.
I'm going to be adding individual sessions to the course that I want to get through before I initially start. So my tentative date is August 30, but I may push it if I still need to meet with a few people before I get started. It is going to be a small, intimate group of ten, so I am sharing in case you'd like to register. The information is on my Instagram socials and will also be in the show notes. So thank you so much. I will see you in the next episode. Have a wonderful, wonderful rest of your day. ¡Que viva la evolución! Ciao!!!
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