Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hello and welcome to Samos Padres.
[00:00:03] Speaker B: A Podcast dedicated to the constant development over parenting and ourselves.
[00:00:07] Speaker A: We are your hosts, Paulo and Yesenia. Thanks for joining us as we share our parenting experiences rooted within the context of our own life journey.
[00:00:16] Speaker B: In that spirit, we will also be sharing parenting information and the stories of Madres and Padres out there....
[00:00:21] Speaker A: Who have embraced their own personal evolution as the great latest gift of parenthood.
[00:00:27] Speaker B: Here we go.
[00:00:33] Speaker A: Hello and welcome back. Welcome to this episode of the Somos Padres podcast.
I'm Yasenia, and we are continuing this week with the Summer series. We have just a few more weeks left of Summer, so I'm kicking it into high gear as we close out the series and then welcome back Paulo into our lives so that we can continue on with regular Samos Padres programming. So this week what I want to talk about in this episode this is not going to be a long episode, honestly. What I want to do is talk about another one of my very I don't know, very I guess life changing is one word for it, but just these really cathartic healing experiences that I've had and to kind of break down for you how I experienced the healing, what it's like for me. But I also want to connect it back to why it's been so important in my life as a mother.
I think that's something that perhaps I haven't yet really talked about, but that I really want to do this time around.
But this time, what I want to talk about in terms of my experience is when I went to a retreat, actually, it was a Woman Circle certification and Shakti Medicine retreat. It was like, two things together, and it was led by two amazing women you would know.
Cosmic Christine is her handle, Christine Gutierrez is her name, and Beatrice Bonnin.
And both of these ladies are amazing. I had actually never experienced an event with either of them. Or rather, let me take this back. I had been to conferences where I had seen Christine speak, and I had had like, a mini experience with her that lasted I think it was like an hour. So I had had that experience, but I hadn't had something that is more curated by Christine, in a sense. Right. So I knew of her. I followed her on Instagram, and I saw that she announced this training Women's Circle certification along with Beatrice. I didn't really know Beatrice at that point, but they had announced this certification. It was initially going to be in Tulum, in Tulum, Mexico. And honestly, that is what drew me and kind of sealed the deal for me because I felt like experiencing something in Mexico, which is the land of my, like, I don't know, I was like, okay, I feel like that would be really special.
Long story short, though, this was last year when we were kind of coming out of COVID and the pandemic, and we were all still being cautious because even on the airplanes at that point, we were still required to wear masks and everything. So we were still just at the beginning of coming out of COVID right? So what ended up happening was that right at that time when this event was supposed to take place, this six day retreat was supposed to happen.
There was another shutdown, right? And so the retreat got rescheduled. They were no longer able to do it in Tulum. And so now we found ourselves in Puerto Rico. Now, this, to me, was kind of hard because I was okay with traveling by myself to Tulum because I had been to that area before, but now it was like, oh, my gosh. Now I'm going to have to travel to Puerto Rico, a place that I've never been, and I'm going to have to do it by myself. And so I was nervous about that, but obviously I was like, okay, this is the way that this is going to go. I'm going to flow with it and I'm going to go. And so I went, and I was really intentional about this experience.
I bought a journal for it that specifically began each day that from the day that I left and I was on the airplane flying over there, I started writing in this journal. And so I have it, and I'm so glad I did that because I would literally write in that journal every day. I would start my day with it whenever we would have different experiences throughout the day and we had break in between. I would go back to my room and I would write whatever was coming up for me. And that was really special. And I think it really helped me in terms of processing everything that was coming, in terms of realizations and downloads, and just keeping myself in that space, of just being focused on my healing and my journey, just keeping me focused on that. It's so easy to lose yourself, to lose your center, I think, sometimes, especially when you have access to your phone. And for instance, I know that when I did my silent meditation retreat, I had no access to phone, and so there was no way of me connecting what was happening. I couldn't call home and kind of just lose or not lose, but just allow my mind to drift to what is happening with my family, my husband, the kids, my extended family, my parents, my brothers, everything, right? Or even the world, like what is happening in the news, all these things, they take up energetic space and they take up space in our minds. And so what I'm trying to say is that that journal, what it did is it really grounded me to stay present and stay in my experience.
Now, Paulo's really great about not calling me, and then that's going to sound a little weird, but when I go and do these experiences, or when I go out with my friends even, or with my family, he's really good about not calling me and just waiting for me to call him. And so that was kind of the same in this experience, right? I was choosing when to call and to check in on him and the kids and how everyone's doing.
And so that also just allowed me to stay present in my experience.
Now, the experience was really amazing because it was all of us women, and all of us were called to the certification. And we were being led by these incredible, powerful women who, like I said, I had never experienced something like this with them. And so I was just flowing with it and just really open to whatever this experience was going to be. Right?
And I have to say that the way that it worked was that they explained like, yes, we're going to get to how to lead a woman's circle, and we're going to go through that whole process, that learning and educational component. But they were clear that as people that wanted to lead women, we were going to have to go through the experience of being led first. And so that was kind of the first part of our journey, was we're going to do a series. They did a series of experiences that were really meant to have us go deep within and to have really cathartic experiences. And each experience was building on the next. And they were really great about creating ceremony and keeping us really grounded in the experience, encouraging us to go out into nature, to ground. There was a saltwater pool. So getting into the pool, into the saltwater, releasing into the water, dancing, coming back into our bodies. We started our day, every day with yoga.
We were eating a very clean diet.
They encouraged us not to drink, so really keeping our temple, our body really clean and grounded. And we were eating of the earth. We had different chefs that were at the it wasn't a hotel. It wasn't a hotel.
What would you call it? I can't even think of it. But it's like a small boutique hotel, I guess. Yeah, that's the best way to say it. And they had chefs that practiced cooking based on ayurvedic foods that followed the ayurvedic diet. And so that is what we were eating. So everything was just very intentional. And I think all of that really helped to, I don't know, just to enhance everyone's experience. Right.
And I have to say, I didn't know anyone at the retreat, but having had this experience together, I feel it really connected all of us. And we were doing so many experiences where we were paired with different people, and so you were really able to connect to every single one on a really deep level. And I think I had a few, just really cathartic moments that I think were really important for me. And I'm going to take you through them and I think they really connect with what I was saying earlier in terms of how all of these connect back to my own parenting. Right. One of the things that came up during one of the experiences is that as I get older, I was one of the people at the retreat that was older, right. And so for me, it was really beautiful to look into the eyes of one of my sisters in this experience and to really feel like I was mothering them.
And for me, that's a big deal, right? Because I don't consider myself to be someone who's naturally mothering.
I feel like that is something that is really unique to my children.
I do feel that sense of mothering with my own kids, but I don't really consider myself to be the mothering type. That's just not natural to me. But what I realized in this experience is that I am a person who is mothering.
I don't know, there was something about that experience and being able to see these young women and to hold them, I really felt like I was mothering them in some of these experiences. And that was profoundly impactful to me. That was like a really big cathartic awakening, a realization for me.
That was one of them. And I think that's really important for me in my own parenting. Because sometimes, like I said, sometimes I think that I don't think I'm a good enough mother. I feel like my kids are missing out and maybe this is everyone, right? I don't know. I'm sure I'm not the only one where I feel like maybe they would have been I don't know, they would have had a better experience with someone who's really mothering like the mothering type. Right.
I felt like I have to really work at it to be this. But I realized that, no, all of us are different.
We all mother in different ways. And there's no better, no worse. It's just this is how we are each wired as mothers. But it's no less effective, it's no less valid, right? Like, I am giving everything I've got to my kids, right? In terms of in the way that I mother them and that's enough. And it's valid, like I said, and it's good.
I have to stop saying I'm not the mothering type or something.
I have to let that go. It was one of those things that it's like, no, let it go.
That doesn't serve me.
That was a beautiful awakening. There was another moment where we were waiting to go into the actual space where we would meet every day.
And on this particular day, we were asked to think about who we wanted to bring into this space with us today or that day. And I remember thinking that I was going to bring in my mother with me that day.
And as soon as I had that thought, there was actually a song that started playing because they have a really great playlist.
And the part of the song, it says, mother, I feel you underneath my feet.
And in the moment, I really felt like that was confirmation of, yes, I should bring my mother in into the session that day.
And at the same time, I had that awareness that it was also telling me that my mother is my mother in this lifetime on this earth plane that we are in right now in this life, but that there is also this eternal mother that's underneath my feet that is grounding me, that is holding me, that is supporting me and that does so beyond this lifetime that it was before this life and it'll be after this life.
And no matter what, I'm never alone.
I have this eternal mother that I can access and connect with and be guided by. Right? So that was the first time that I had had that thought that came through.
And I know in the last episode in the water healing experience that went even deeper, right, I went even deeper with that. But this was the first time that that seed was planted for me. And so that was really special because and I think it's really important to note that because we have these moments of awareness, but we don't always go all the way with a learning, right. It was like I had this moment of awareness and I remember it so vividly that I wrote it down in my journal. It was part of what I wrote down. That's how much of an impact it made on me. But there are those things that we download them, we have these awarenesses, but it's like there are seeds that are getting planted that we're going to nurture through another experience and that's exactly what happened, right, with the water healing experience. Like that went to another level, to another level where now it's something that is very rooted in me now, right?
So that was another kind of really beautiful moment in learning for me and healing for me because I really value that moment because like I said, it planted that seed and it allowed me to really have so much more compassion for my mom.
And as parents, the more that we can heal and release our own pain from our younger years. Right. And all of those things, the more that we can do that, the more that we're going to be able to meet our children where they are right. And not react in ways that are coming from those wounded places. Right. So that was really cathartic for me in that moment. Something else that I want to share about the experience is the last thing I want to share about this certification and retreat experience is that we had another experience where well, actually, we had more than one experience. Like this, but it was really kind of like a cord cutting where we visualized someone that we wanted to cut a cord with and we all had to actually like, we were all standing and we were visualizing having some kind of a cutting tool in our hands and we were cutting away right at this cord. And we were all screaming and just hacking and putting all of our energy into this moment.
And you can imagine I don't know if you can imagine, but the experience of doing this alongside other women that are also doing it, it's on another level of profoundness I don't know, there's an energy about it and how I think we are all helping each other release because we're all doing and we're just going at this hacking over and over.
And I can't remember exactly the words that were said, but our guides, right, beatrice, in this moment is leading us and saying things to keep the experience going. And one of the things that I remember her saying is that we were cutting and just this realization that you were cutting things that maybe were not even yours. You're cutting cords that aren't even yours. They're not necessarily for instance, it may not be necessarily that I had this experience personally, that it can be that when I was in the womb of my mother, that she had an experience and that impacted her. And me being in her womb at the time, it's not like I was there necessarily as a child or it could be our ancestors that experienced it and it got embedded in the DNA and that DNA became us, right? Like, it's part of our DNA. And so there are so many things I do believe that. I do believe that there are so many things that we are releasing and cutting the cords to that we can't even know them all. They could even not even be from this lifetime. They could be from another lifetime.
And I say this not to make you feel like it's overwhelming and what's the point, right? Because there are times where I've gotten to those places of like, oh, my God, what is the whole point, right?
I'm never going to finish.
And I think for me, the point is this is that what it's done for me is that it's given me a lot of compassion for myself and for others. And it's also had me go, you know what?
I'm not going to know. And I don't have to know what all those experiences were, and I don't have to bring each of them up because some of them aren't even mine, right?
And I think it just releases me to just be like, you know what?
I'm just going to do my best, even on my own healing journey. I'm just going to do my best to live this life, to stay in my practices, to continue to release, to unlearn, to deconstruct, to just become more of myself.
Right. I think I've talked about, to me, healing and doing all these things. For me, they're leading to more liberation, to more freedom, to being more at peace, to being more myself and to not feel so caged and restricted. And I want to live in the flow of life and be okay as much as I can with life, to be able to dance with life, I think that's the point. And to be able to be hopefully a great guide to my children in how you do that. Because here's something else that I think is super, super important.
There is no parenting your way out of the fact that our kids are going to suffer, they're going to experience pain, they're going to be wounded.
There's just no way out of it. Right. Because that's life.
That's life. There's nothing that we can do to shelter them from the experience of life. Right. Hopefully the wounds are not coming from us, and if they are, we are able to repair them and help our kids to heal from them. Right? Because none of us are perfect.
We're all going to make mistakes as parents. But what I'm trying to say is that no matter what, our kids are going to go through difficult times and what we want to do as parents. What my goal is as a parent is how do I figure out how to heal myself and how do I live in a way that leaves a blueprint for you of how you could potentially do it. Because let's be real, my kids are probably not going to be exactly into everything I'm doing either. I don't have that expectation. What I do have the expectation of is that you'll see how Mama did it, you'll see all the things that I'm doing and you'll make an informed choice for yourself. Right. Because I want them to have the freedom to do that just in the way that I want the freedom to live my life and to do all the things that bring me peace and joy, right?
Yeah.
That is what I wanted to share in this episode.
I hope that it's helpful to you in some way, this sharing what a profound experience, something like a retreat that is more this experience in particular was six days. I do think that I really enjoyed having an experience that was this long because it allows you to go deeper and to build on an experience onto another and another and especially when you're working with people who are, know, just full of wisdom and such great leaders. Like, I have the utmost respect for both Christine and they are legit in my mean, honestly, I've worked and experienced a lot of different healers and I absolutely recommend anything they do.
They are amazing. And so to be led by them, to be guided by them, it was just a beautiful experience. So obviously I recommend them, but I just also recommend these longer experiences, like I said, because they do allow you to go deeper when you have all this time and also when you're doing it by yourself. Right?
That was a first for me, and I walked away looking forward to many, many more experiences like that. So thank you very much. I will definitely be sharing the song that I referenced in this episode. If you'd like to check it out and listen to it.
Every time I hear it, I go back to that moment. So thank you all. ¡Que viva la evolución! Gracias.
Hi.
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[00:32:59] Speaker B: You can also follow our parents on Instagram, @iam.yesenia, @paulomenchaca, and @somos.padres. Gracias!
